cathedral for a while

Characters:
KAY
KURT

Note: Titles (in all capitals) indicate the scenes available for performance; any combination and any order can be used. Four or more sets of actors and/or readers is suggested but not necessary, one actor to play Kay and Kurt in each scene. The same actors can certainly be cast in several (or all) scenes. The actors wait either on stage or in the wings until chosen in some fashion and then perform their scene as rehearsed. The set remains the same for most, and must be able to accommodate any scene in any order.

BEGINNING

(KURT stands in front of the audience, he is dressed well and speaks slowly. He sings a soft song.)

KURT (Imitating the sounds made by guitars and drums. Pianos and chimes. He is not a good singer.)

I let snow fall on frozen yesterdays!

I’ve earned today.

I’ve earned today.

And we make love beside the waterway.

I burn today. I burn today.

Yesterday I will burn for the times I did not learn.

Behold the rose of Jericho.

How many lines I do not know

Today I burn

Today I burn.

(Lights up to reveal KAY)

KAY
Do you know what the serenity prayer is?

KURT (continues to sing)
Say do you know who do you think you’re fooling? I’m a consecrated boy.

KAY
Let me teach it to you. It’s hard to remember at first. It is worth knowing. Listen!
God.

KURT
You lost me already.

KAY
Your momma loves you

KURT
She rocked me like the rock of ages. She loved me. Loved me loved.

KAY
I’m not a devil calling your name. Dear God, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.

KURT
Kay.

(They stop. At this point the designated members select the next scene. They choose from the remaining titles.)

FOR HER, HIM

(KURT and KAY sit side by side on the couch; he gets up to leave and then moves to kiss her.)

KURT
Hey I guess I have to go, so I’ll

(They remain face to face,)

KURT
I am going to kiss you do I have permission?

KAY
Yes

(They do.)

KURT
Hey I

(They kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss, no clothing is removed. No parts are touched.)

KAY
You have to go, go where. Go over to where the place is.

KURT
What?

KAY
Over to where you live

KURT
Where I live.

KAY
Go there. Oka

(She moves toward him, they kiss and kiss. Lights fade slowly.)

DRAPES

(KAY and KURT. She is on top of him, both are fully clothed. They have obviously been kissing. She moves in for another. They both speak dreamily, in and out of coherency. Literally reeling. She moves and speaks so slowly and with such exquisite sureness and warmth that it is like she is floating. KURT is a bit more urgent, self aware, slightly frightened.)

KURT
Hey. Wait now. I. It’s been a long time for me. Do you know? So. If I don’t do everything right. I’m a little rusty is all. God I love you.

KAY
We’ve only just met.

KURT
Well then if not you, then all of this. The room. Even the temperature.

KAY
72 degrees. Not Celsius.

KURT
Not Celsius you mink. You are such a fox.

KAY
What were you saying before?

KURT
That I will likely not be practiced.

KAY
Practiced? What. Are. You. Talking. About? Goosefeather.

KURT
I wanted to tell you that I may not be any good.

KAY
At what duck?

KURT
At this, at what’s coming up.

KAY
Quack! You are a swanling. You are ugly now but you will be prettier. Where is your long neck pelican?

(He laughs and they kiss. She touches his neck and chest)

KAY
This is our nest. (She looks around them.) These are our feathers. (She shakes her hair back and forth).

KAY
These are our bills. (She touches his lips).

KAY
And right here, right in our chests? Is our heart.

It is our wings.

(Lights fade out slowly as they kiss.)

KAY TYPES

The spelling mistakes are intentional, as they represent the actual typing that KAY does throughout.

Lights up on KAY and KURT, they are in their living room, a large one. There is music audible from nearby, fast and happy. Loud. KAY and KURT are both present. She sits in front of a portable computer on a large wooden desk. Her upper body is clearly visible and she faces the audience. KURT sits nearby on the floor, he is half dressed. He is on his knees looking at her computer screen, he speaks slowly and has difficulty seeing the screen.

KURT
Kay my love I’m just telling you what the scene is man. For good and bad. There’s a whole world out there. For better and for worse. Froghead.

KAY (quickly, not paying attention, still typing)
Kurt you are the frog head.

KURT
That’s what you say!

KAY
Type type type type I am typing, type!

KURT
What is this? This typing? You.

KAY
Messaging. Instant.

KURT
You are going to be really fucking bored, typing about math. And you’re going to be really
(HE pauses for 45 seconds reading what she types and watching her hands, KAY continues to type furiously.)

KURT
Fucking bored.

(HE pauses, KAY types intermittently throughout the following, KURT inches forward until he has reached the desk)

KURT
Let’s say. Ok, you are familiar with math?
So I’ve. I’ve. (His head dips forward and lands on the desk, audibly.)

KAY (typing and talking)
Are you cold dude? Make art! Back straight. (He does so). Hi.

KURT (upright again)
What are you typing?
(He looks at the screen)

Really!

(At this point the script so far appears on the wall or on a screen behind them. This is for the audience’s benefit, it cannot be seen by the characters.)

KURT (on screen, appearing as Kay transcribes what he says.)
Oh my God that’s fucking awesome.
Allright.

(He stops and Kay stops. He kisses her on the cheek.)

(KAY stops and returns the kiss on his cheek. Then, loudly)

KAY
Make art! Of . The ocean.

(He runs around and turns the music up)
KURT
Oh shit, is what I’m saying. Where is becomes to … what… to be large. Where monstrousness is a liability. Fast forward to the grave yard man!

(All of it appears on the screen typed out as before. This will continue throughout.)

(Kay types)
What do you think of that. I don’t know?

KURT (loudly, yelling randomly)
Are you a good typest?

(Kay types)
Hell no. This is like what.

KURT
How’s your back? (He skips to another room)

(Kay types)
No. oh shit, robert is drinking my boos.

My booze.

I’m not talking. Oh my god. Only genious results. How do you do that.

KURT (runs up and slides to the desk, he kisses her head, the following appears on screen, as he says it)
How do you type without looking at the kyes.

KAY (typing and talking)
keys

(Only typing)
I don’t know. I’m probably doing a poor job.

KURT
Kay. This is my drink. What have you been typing this whole time I’ve been gone?
(He runs to the kitchen with the empty glass.)

KURT (Exiting to the bedroom)
Am I going to be sad when I read this tomorrow?

(Kay types)
What is sad, kurt? Fuck I’m messing this shit up. Sorry You’re staring at me. hi.

(And then says aloud)
KAY
The suspense is killing me.

KURT (walking back into the room, he has been getting dressed, now he is wearing a nice shirt with a tie undone in his hand.)

Do they say that in the Charlie and the chocolate factory? The suspense is killing me!
What are you typing? I see you typing!

(KAY laughs and starts typing again.)
What am I typing? I’ve no fucking idea.

KURT (not looking at the screen, only at her.)
I wish I had a camera to take pictures of your face.

(KAY types and shakes her head)
It swould be ugly. Do you want to be a genious. No. I don’t want to be regarded as one. Nothing is robert’s fault. Oh shit. Like what I don’t know. Secret. Look at that grin, dude. Lets make some art? Is this art?

KURT (softly, pokes her cheek with his finger.)
I’m serious. Is this art? Is this special? I’ve no clue.

KURT kisses her again and then goes from room to room getting ready and cleaning a little, he drinks throughout and sings along with the loud music KAY types both quickly and slowly throughout.)
(Kay types)
What people. Because I don’t see the value of action… but words?

What if I’m typing isn’t aren’t real words… it’s something else entirely. Oh. But do they lose their value? I don’t think they had value to begin with. Oondoggie. Gidgit on the beach. My computer doesn’t like me.
ku is dancing… bouncing really.

Kurt once told me that he thought his mammal brain had stopped working and that it was terrifying him His reptile brain was there noww It was very scoary to hear that beig said.

Its balance its balance its balance

KURT (from another room)
How can we get them to fix that problem? No I’m asking you how can we get that issue resolved? If you you’re telling me that when we walk into that room tomorrow there is going to be a pile of fucking what all then I can’t be there for that. I need three pieces of paper that say what needs saying. So. Get it.

(Kay types)
He told me one time that he hated to argue like that, that it was bad. I said but in certain settings it is good. Doesn’t it feel powerful, to be smarter than someone else? And then prove it and everything? He said no. because certain parts of you had to like it in order to do it well and those parts were insatiable. And they took and took and didn’t give. And I
(She stops typing)

(1 minute and thirty seconds pass, KAY sips her drink and lights a cigarette. A new song is heard, KURT enters and sings along with it loudly.)
KURT
The screen door slams. Mary’s dress waves.
Like a vision she dances while the radio plays,
Roy Orbison sang for the lonely, that’s me and I want you only
Don’t turn me home again
I just can’t face myself alone again.
Don’t run back inside
Darling you know just what I’m here for,
So you’re scared and you’re thinking we ain’t that young anymore,
Show a little faith, there’s magic in the night.
You ain’t a beauty but hey you’re alright

KAY (throws a pencil at him, laughs)
Hey!

KURT
Oh and that’s alright with me.

(Kay types)
Mumusic is loud. shit. I make lots of spelling mikstakes..

KURT (glancing over her shoulder, scans the screen)
I like it. I like it.
(He kisses her and tickles her, she laughs loudly.
He leaves again, running about.)

(KAY types)
There becomes a point when this isn’t special, then its nothing. So it might as well be. Wha????

Nothing else.

is trying to say important things. Just relax just relax I mean. Is anything important? Oh shit. Good song, Kurt wants to sing and dance.
Math is cool Kurt… joinn my bandwagon. Beauty and love… where is it. Lets chancge the music

Eye roll.

Ha ha muhahahaha.

(KURT moves to the desk again, he puts his hands on her shoulders.)

KURT (he waits, kisses her on the cheek.)
You’re drunk and whirling!

KAY
You are swirling! You swine swirler!

KURT
You don’t honestly mean that I am a swine swirler. What is that? I can swirl swine around? In the air?

KAY
No! On the ground you magician! With the swine!

KURT
Oh no! Not after this display! I am not the swine in this rehearsal of tonight’s show you farm girl, rolling in the hay!

KAY (She kisses him.)

KURT
In so many words yes!

KAY
You swashbuckler!

KURT
What? What did you just say? Shall we just go through the list for the thousandth time?

KAY
No. Frog head. (She kisses his cheek.)

KURT
No indeed! How can you when your memory is gone? Where are we today Kay? (He sighs and looks at her.) He kisses her nose and her lips just once.) I love you. So much. Be there tomorrow please. For dinner?

KAY (very softly)
Yeah. Of Course.

(Kay types)
There is a check from Taylor still hanging on the board. kut thinks that I’m saying something amazing.. he hopes that I’m saying something amazing. I’m not. He’s afraid to put something
(KURT renters he is carrying his dress shoes but otherwise dressed. She stops typing and looks at him, he is slightly more serious, the music has been turned off.)

KURT
Hey my little kit cup katty kins. Why is there a check on the board?

(Kay looks at him and slowly starts crying softly, then more loudly.)

(KURT drops his dress shoes, they hit the floor loudly.)

(Black out.) (KURT drops his dress shoes, they hit the floor loudly. Lights dim moderately quickly. The audience chooses another title.)

THREE

(KURT and KAY on the couch, they have been kissing. He is on top of her. Fully clothed. Both are breathing heavily.)

KURT
I’ll whatever is I

KAY
Know don’t I

KURT
Hey I don’t

(They kiss. Both of them sigh and breathe deeply.)

(They move to sitting positions. She looks at his pants. She gestures.)

KURT (soft, a whisper)
What?

KAY
There.

KURT
Where? …

KAY
(She looks at his pants. Moves her eyebrows. Says nothing.)

KURT
Where wolf. … (20 seconds of silence.) Young Frankenstein.

KAY (Immediately,)
There wolf.

KURT
Yeah. … There wolf.

KAY (Softly)
Your pants are wet.

KURT
Yeah. What?

KAY
I’m sorry.

KURT
Thank you. What? What are saying?

KAY (very softly)
I think you came in your pants while we were making out.

KURT (laughs.)
Oh really? (then, just as softly as her) Listen to me, it’s just (not audible) precome.

KAY
Oh.

KURT (uncomfortable)
Hey! Don’t be disappointed! If the answer to your question is: do I think you so attractive and compatible that I ejaculated, the answer is yes with an ‘if’, or no with a ‘but.’

KAY (Shakes her head.)

KURT
No sense made. Speak up.

(Silence for 15 seconds, they stare at each other)

KURT (fast and practiced, serious)
I think you’re the most beautiful young woman in the world and I’d really like to ejaculate all over you. But we can’t do that at this stage. Right now the only thing I can think about is how perfect your eyes look in this room on this night and how absolutely perfect our bodies are made as a way to express emotion. 10,793 miles of nerves and collapsed surface area.
For God and Man’s sake.

(They kiss, lights fade slowly to black.)

UNDERSTANDING IT.

(KAY and KURT stand in their living room, she is holding a string of pearls.)

KAY (incoherent and furious)
No hi-jinks are taking place tonight goddamn it! Said a loud voice in the foyer. John couldn’t decide whether or not to call it a foyer or a foy-yea. It makes no difference now that the body has been found!

KURT
Get to the point!

KAY
All I’m saying is that you’re a pretty baby. La la love you, don’t mean maybe!

KURT
You’re drunk.

KAY
You swine swirler. No! On the ground.

KURT
…

KAY
What am I supposed to tell people, in the right way?

KURT
You dolt.

KAY
Don’t call me names.

KURT
What? Shall we just go through the list for the thousandth time?

KAY
No.

KURT
Where are we today Kay?

KAY
I. This is abuse.

KURT
This is the potential that I have been pushed too far, beyond reckoning.

KAY
I’m not reckoning with you!

KURT
Don’t stretch out the truth on this one Kay.

KAY
You can not threaten me any more!
You can’t control how I see myself and how others see me!

KURT
You should have paid closer attention in class you slut.

KAY (softly)
No more, please, no more, you can’t. It hurts too much. Listen and listen well. I can not and would not if I could, reduce the amount of resistance that I feel for you. We can never be more now. No matter how much you want to turn into something else. But we both know, if more strongly, that you will never find that. Until you’re ready. And then. Maybe. But it isn’t now. Cut us loose and bid the idea of us goodbye.

KURT (angry, vicious)
You and it are done.

(Black out.)

OTHER PERSONS

(KAY and KURT sit side by side on the couch, they are at a counseling center. A sign behind them says counseling center. They address the audience as the therapist.)

KAY
I hated him and then I loved him and then he hated me and loved me. There were ten years where our cycles matched up and he was in love and I was in love

KURT
Holy fuck you temptress. Cycles!? Like the stars? Like constellations? Like the oracles above you? Witch. Are you skrying? You harpy’s spawn.

KAY
To the doctor Kurt.

KURT (to the audience/doctor)
I didn’t see it like that at all. I saw it as seasonal, peaceful. Drifting times that floated by as leaves on a tree.

KAY
Fuck me in the ass that is not true at all. He is mildly ludicrous.

KURT
Ludicrous is a rapper. … A goddamn rapper! Lunatic?

KAY
Lunatic! He’d go into a lunatic anytime we had to go to an event. He’d flip out like a moron, a fully grown retarded man. Didn’t you honey?
(She does not insult him, she laughs gently and good naturedly, sharing a long time joke.)

KAY
Oh you were a sight. You’re so diseased. You know? (Snorting with laughter, uncontrollable)

KURT (goading her, remembering, laughing along)
Oh my fucking lord Kay you psycho, did you hear yourself rambling on or are you even coherent at this moment? What day is this Kay you beautiful thing? What are laughing at you gypsy thief?

KAY
(Laughing with abandon now) And you said, “I think the vacuum cleaner has eaten my keys! My car and house keys!” Yes, oh yes! You made sure to add “house” because you knew, you knew! I’d ask if that included house keys! And then I said

KURT
“It is not possible! The vacuum cleaner has no will, nor no maliced intent.”

KAY
And that was exactly the right thing to say to you to make you say

KURT
My keys are in my pocket. My phone is in my briefcase. (3 seconds of silence.) You know it.

KAY
My watch is on my wrist, my wallet’s in my pocket.

KURT (slowly)
How did you know it?

KAY (slowly, sadly.)
Because I said it too. I made it up as a young girl. It was a rhyme, like singsong

KURT (to audience/therapist)
That we would do under my breath. I thought of the same rhyme, singsong thing as a kid too.

(Together, slightly singing.)

KURT and KAY together
My keys are in my pocket. My phone is in my briefcase

KAY
Except I would say, My phone is in my backpack. I didn’t have a briefcase. Over the years it evolved into a short prayer that

KURT
I’d say, we’d say. Every morning. And we added a little bit about hearts or something.

KAY
But we added that part a long time before we met, like in high school or something.

(Someone from the audience yells out, as the DOCTOR)

DOCTOR
How did you discover this? That you had this in common?

KAY
We were singing it in the morning after the first time we made love. We were getting dressed to go to eat and both of us were singing a little song under our breath while we put on panty hose and also shirts and brushed teeth.

KURT
And while I looked at the most perfect skeleton I’d ever seen.
(After a long pause, KAY laughs.)

KURT (loudly and proud, to audience/therapist)
Someone a thousand years ago thought up the ancient beginnings of the word “serendipity” and then through billions of human experiences since then, the word was refined and shaped. Until it reached its current point of absolute aptness in the form of the look in her eyes

KAY (quickly interjecting, smiling)
And his eyes

KURT
As we sang

KURT and KAY (perfectly in sync)
My keys are in my pocket, my watch is on my wrist, my phone is in my case, my wallet’s in my other pocket, and my heart is in your hands.

KAY
And right when we said “hands” we looked at each other.

KURT and KAY
Right in the eyes. And there was nothing

KAY
More natural, right and good

KURT
That had ever happened before or since or ever will again and forever.

KAY
I loved you so perfectly and with so much of my soul.

KURT (softly)
You became cruel.

KAY
Yes I did.

KURT
And so far away? But so ready to fight.

KAY (slowly)
I did, yes. And don’t say anything else because I can’t agree with you in too many more ways. Now I am telling you I am leaving and going to a better place. Without you.

(Black out.)

TIME AND STRINGS

(KURT and KAY. Bare stage if necessary.)

KURT
What did you say to her? I come home to 5 messages. All from Lisa. What are you doing?

KURT
Do you think I’ve been gossiping? Why would I do that. Why would I say hi, hey did you hear the latest? I got my heart torn out.

KAY
Don’t be so fucking dramatic. Do you go into all this heart breaking nonsense to Lisa too? Is that why I’m getting cold stares from everyone?

KURT
It took her about fifteen minutes worth of small talk and courtly gestures to finally work around to it. And when I wouldn’t do it, when I kept dodging all her questions because I didn’t know if you were telling people or if I should start telling people. What would I say, assuming, incorrectly, that I’d even want to bring it up? So she finally says, I was talking to Beth and she said she hadn’t talked to you for six weeks. She said you divorced. So I said yes and that it was very painful to talk about and could we please change the subject. That’s it. And speaking of gossiping, how did fucking Lisa of all people get to hear it from you directly? Are you just telling anyone now? Because, fucking Lisa, I mean come on!

KAY
All right, two things then, why are you talking to me now, and why didn’t you answer that letter?

KURT
Because I am answering your letter, right now. I wanted to talk to you.

KAY
Why are we yelling then? Why are you angry at me? I just wanted an excuse to call you!

KURT
Well, I’m glad you did!

KAY
Without being the weak one!

KURT
You’re not the weak one!

KAY
Okay!

KURT
This is the part where we stop yelling and talk with less aggression in our voices!

KAY
Oh. Yes.

KURT
That’s much better.

KAY
Yes. I’m sorry.

KURT
I’m sorry too. Very sorry for all of this pain, all of my selfishness. I’m sorry that I didn’t make it easier for you to come back. I made it a trial, some kind of test. It’s because I was sick. I was so messed up. Nothing made sense.

KAY
You were so hard to be with, the ups and downs. It was painful for me too. You don’t know how much I had to store away. How much I had to hold back because I wasn’t sure if you could take it, if you could support me, hold me when I needed it, and not the other way around. I needed someone too!

KURT
I know and I can do that now. I want to do that for the rest of my life! Whatever else I’m capable of I don’t know. But I know that I can love you forever.

(Blackout.)

PEARLS
(KURT and KAY stand in a large kitchen, both are dressed well, they look radiant.)

KURT
Why did you? We waited so long. It’s the longest seven days not of my life but of all lives. So long. No word at all. Was it a test? A trial? Because I felt like I was on a mountain top. Not majestic but jagged. Not beatific. Horrible, like the tip of a sharp tooth atop the empty and flameswept valley in the lowest and most vile part of Hell. A very real Hell. As depicted in portraiture. Hot and terrible to look on with naked eyes that then swell and burst with the fright of it. You gorgeous creature. (He kisses her cheek.) From on high you came to get me. Why did you wait to do it?

KAY
Why did you wait to call out for help? You! I loved you. I listened for the screams.

KURT
What was it like from so high up?

KAY
Not that better you cynic. Come here please. (They kiss for a long time.)

KURT
I wasn’t kidding before, it was so hard. Everyday I had dejavue it was like no time had passed. I feel tested! I do. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know if I should call you or not call you and then I thought about you everyday, at the end of the day. I had to put it off until the end because I got so sad driving home alone at the end of everything! I wanted to drive to you. I felt alone and it was awful! I felt that way. I didn’t remember. And then it made me sad.

KAY (She kisses him on the cheek.)
I felt the same way.

KURT
Goddamn it. You know I’m leaving right? I’m going away. First to Denver and then to the east and then I have no fucking idea. And maybe someday when we are both 900 years old.

KAY
From the aging treatments.

KURT
Yes! From the aging treatments! Yes. And then we will die and as I do so my destroyed brain will mumble something on my cracked and desert dry lips and I my aged brain and broken fucking heart will hear the words that I speak and they will not be: “why didn’t you call her one more fucking time!” (He collapses on the floor in a dramatic reenactment of the event.) Why? Why did you let her get away? You let it all go.” And then I will die, finally. Physically. Which will equal the death of my soul, which I felt the day you didn’t email me back.

KAY (looks around and exits, then, from off.)
Hey, get in here!

(He jumps up and runs off. Lights out.)

GARRISON

(Lights up on Kay, she reads aloud from a letter.)

KAY
Dear Kurt.

(She holds her head in her hands and starts to cry. It is terrifying, 45 seconds.)

(Blackout.)
PILLOWS
(KURT stands alone next to a large statue. He moves to the base of it and stares up. He yells)

KURT
Just let it go! Be apart from her and still be whole. Still be, remain, here. With purpose! Oh God why did you give us so many days and only so few years? A space, a constructed space filled with other people is so terrifying. We hate each other so much. Why do we kill ourselves so slowly with such painted and pointed faces?

(Lights up on KAY at the top of some stairs.)

KAY (with weight and authority)
I’ll tell you why you have dejavue`.
You don’t know all the words you need to know yet. Someday you will and then you’ll know what your brain has been trying to tell you this whole time.

KURT (finished, angry)
What words do you want me to learn? Words like what? Regret? Lost? Time? Scripture? How can you? Tell me to learn words? (He begins to sob, to weep.)
The terror I felt all night, all this week.

Hey Kay, it’s been awhile since we had a late night talk. It’s 1:58 right now, that’s not too late. Let me ask you a question. Do you remember when I loved you? Or is it like saying do you remember when it was humid? (He coughs and then spits inadvertently on his shirt and shoes.)

KAY
Do you want to know why you have dejavue`? I can tell you. Do you want to know?

KURT (He stares at her forever. Then, barely audible.)
It’s not dejavue`. I dream about them. The scenes. The places. All the voices. The weave and warp. I dream it over and over and over and over. All the same people, same wooden railings and lights strung in the back, Christmas lights and smoke and wooden benches or metal chairs like chain mail. Built like armor to sit on. I dream about large houses with people in them and pools and past sceneries that I haven’t seen in years. Lake views and driveways. Large terraces. I hear sirens. Loud sirens, wailing all night. And huge engines revving and revving for no reason except to cause vibrations.
Oh Kay. Oh.
What is the matter with me? Please save me. Oh God.
(He falls over and lies on his back. He screams,)
I can’t. I can’t do it anymore and I am so terrified of the thought of living without it. (He sits up and sobs into his hands.)

KAY (very softly)
You have dejavue` because you do the same things over and over again. You repeat patterns. You want perfection so badly that you want to change things that can’t be changed. So you try them over and over again. And it’s never different.

KURT (Soft)
It’s always the same.
No. I want to change things. Please. I’ll be better. I will. I’ll learn from my mistakes and I’ll fix them.

KAY (Soft)
No, you can’t. It’s already happened, my love. My special and exquisite baby. My perfect and chosen one. How loved you are. But without recourse.

KURT
I remember showering with you. The last time. It was the last time we were.

KAY
Dear God. Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.

KURT
Grant me the serenity.

KAY
To accept the things I cannot change.

KURT
I cannot.

KAY
Dear God. Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.

KURT
Dear God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change!
Oh fuck it hurts. It hurts. Don’t make me do it anymore! I can’t breathe.

KAY
You have dejavue` because your brain is confused because you’ve hurt it.

KURT
You’ve hurt it!

KAY
I love you. You’ve hurt it with thoughts and with chemicals and poisons and pain.

KURT
(Cries.)

KAY
Do you know what to do? You just stop.

KURT (suddenly coherent.)
What will it be like without it? I’m so fucking scared. I don’t know what to do without it. Oh please help me with it. With all of it.

KAY
And when you look to me I will be there to love you.

KURT
The fucking complexes and the way it gets in, so deep. So deep inside that it mixes with my blood and makes it into concrete. And I feel everything. … And it makes my ears ring.

KAY
Shut up.

KURT
It makes them throb. Fuck me. I think all their thoughts. … And we have so many rules, so many tiny lines only inches across,

KAY
Do not talk.

KURT
So many of them lined up one after another and it is so easy to cross them until they are all broken. And then what are we supposed to do?

KAY
Do not think.

KURT
I don’t want to cross the lines!

KAY
I know

KURT
Because it makes people hurt.

KAY
I am baby. I am here.

KURT
I just want them to be safe and happy.

KAY
I know.

I know baby, my love.

(She sits next to him and holds his hand. They are silent for 5 minutes.)

KURT (He looks forward and grabs and squeezes Kay tighter and tighter throughout, her hands, her torso, her shoulders.)
Dear God.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The strength. The strength to change things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.

(KAY and KURT together, very quiet.)
It works if you work it.

KURT
Please stay forever. I can’t without you.

KAY
And that is why you will lose me.

That’s the way I learned.
(They kiss and hug. Black out.)

KAY DRIVES

KURT (stands alone, he addresses the audience.)

KURT
Last night I had dinner with a young woman who is bright and shines. And we talked about home decorations and pillows, bedspreads, and she reclined luxuriously And when we drove to places to eat hamburgers and the traffic and the light from a waning sun moved behind her slowly and behind her hair and in large silver sunglasses gorgeous with colors she said “I love the trees and I love rain and the sun” and I thought to myself for the 1000th time, do not forget this, how wonderful and how powerful this is and she is. And I said “you know when there is traffic I think about teleportation, and why don’t we have it yet?” And she looks, with all the lazy urgency of the lifetime before her and says: “I ask people that all the time.”

KAY (Is suddenly brightly lit, she stands far away from KURT)
Also, I don’t want to die. I want to live to be 900 years old.

KURT
Why 900?

KAY
Yoda. And the Bible. Duh.

KURT
Right! How are we supposed to get to be 900?

KAY
Aging treatments. Replace our cells periodically. Replace some organs. Some limbs.

KURT
Super vitamin and concentrated protein injections directly into your brain and spine to keep the nervous system functioning.

KAY
Because it can’t be replaced. Yet.

KURT
Right. Yet. But this ‘yet’ is still 300 hundred years away.

KAY
Bite your goddamn tongue. Try 30 you ostrich luddite.

KURT
Ostrich?

KAY
With your head in the ground. Have you read a book?

KURT
Hey! (He tackles and tickles her, they laugh)

KAY
I mean that it is closer than you think.

KURT
Well I can’t wait.

KAY
Me neither.

(Lights out.)

AND NOW EVERYONE IS MAD

KAY and KURT sit far apart from each other on a gigantic sofa. They are not moving. No one is saying anything.

KURT
Look. I know everything I need to know about lists. I know about how to make lists, how to read them. All of it. I know it all. The reason I don’t keep lists is that my brain is capable of holding them. In there. In there with the rest of my brains!

KAY
(Starts humming. She is furious, this is her outlet.)
hmmmm. Hmm. Hmmm. Hmm hmmm hmm hm hmm hmm.

KURT
If I was a little girl. With tomorrow’s face.
Then I wouldn’t feel compelled to see the dusk.

KAY
Dust is better.

Kurt
That is from another song

KAY
So what? Do it better and no one cares.

KURT
Is?

KAY
Is what?

KURT
My breath

KAY
Spit it out, I do.

KURT
No not now sparrow. Please?

KAY
The hurt I feel is too big.

KURT
Please leave it. Leave it by the wayside.

KAY (singing the backbeat/ drums. Incessant, catchy.)
Thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump this

(Silence for four seconds,)

KAY (screams, as if she’s singing)
I’m standing here.

(Lights immediately to black.)
FOUND

KAY is in a hotel room bathroom. She is in front of a mirror. She looks at the cabinet and opens it. Blackout, lights up on KURT in the same hotel room. He is standing watching TV. Kay enters the hotel room wearing only underwear. She turns off a light.

KAY (sadly)
Why didn’t you say something about your condition, I didn’t know anything at all.

KURT
Why what?

KAY
Not why, why didn’t you tell me, what are you taking? What does it do? (she gestures to the bathroom.)

KURT
That? It just regulates chemistry.

KAY
In your brain.

KURT
In your brain, yes. Jesus. (Laughing) why are you only wearing underwear? You had clothes on right? A second ago?

KAY
I am so sad for you! (she runs to him and they hug) I am so sad for you, that you have to take medicine! It sucks for you.

KURT
(laughing and kissing her)
It’s not sad! It keeps me from being sad, you goofball, you’re so beautiful you.
Oh, you cry for the world’s sadness don’t you?

KAY
I do! I do and it sucks. I hate it so much.

KURT
Hey, look at me. Look at me in the eyes now I am good.

KAY
I know. They kiss and hug.

KURT
Why are you wearing this underwear?

KAY
To make you feel better.
(They kiss.)

KURT
I feel better.

(Lights out.)

After the plays have been selected and performed:

Lights out.

End of Play.